Small school action: ex-bullied person meets ex-bully at Talk Together

In addition to the online surveys at school, which are certainly not that exciting for you, we also carry out more eventful activities. Like the Talk Together meeting on June 26, 2023, which was planned and implemented by some of you. Thank you very much for this, also to everyone else who took part!

You asked a bully and the bullied: How long were you/were you bullied? How does it feel in both positions? What was the worst thing about it? Why do you bully people who haven’t done anything negative?
The invited respondents are Jan Schmale and Lukas Poland (Helden e.V., Cybermobbing-Hilfe e.V.), who was affected by cyberbullying, and who report on their negative experiences with exclusion when they were at school. They regularly explain this at various schools or in the media in order to possibly spare others this psychological suffering.

This is what they said:

Ex-bullied Lukas

“Bullying consists of the three criteria of power inequality, repeatability and intent to harm.”

“There was little support from school, so I felt helpless, angry and powerless and developed a fear of school”

“The worst thing is the photos with insults, threats and false allegations that are still online and that meant everyone at school knew me. I was afraid of what threat would come true.“

Ex-bully Jan

“When I make fun of others with less power in the group, others find it funny and I become more popular.”

“I am complicit in why this person has become the way he is now. If we hadn’t treated him like that, maybe he would have made better decisions in his life.“

“You don’t understand the problem without clarification until you are hit hard when you know what you have done to others.”

“You bully others or laugh with them in order to be more popular and powerful in the group and not to be attacked yourself”

“It’s never about the victim, it’s about the perpetrator trying to improve his position.”

“As long as no evidence is secured, the school has little opportunity to help the victims”

“People become quiet as soon as someone intervenes because they suddenly have to think about the situation, which in itself is not funny.”

“It is not so important that those affected know what to do, but that others know this and not only stand by in conflicts, but also intervene and get help.”

We hope that through the two reports and by moderating your questions together, we were able to create more awareness about this problem through group dynamics in order to sustainably promote a respectful school climate.
But how respectful do YOU treat each other at school and what would you like to see changed? The next campaign with you will be about your stories in order to find solutions together for a better time at school.